i'm freezing my butt off in this cold place.


'at bakit ba 'pag nagsawa na ako
biglang ayoko na
at ngayon
di pa rin alam
kung ba't tayo nandito
puwede bang itigil muna
ang pag-ikot ng mundo.......

at bakit ba tumilapon ang spoliarium
diyan sa paligid mo?'

i lab da pilipins.

i'm tired, hell, i'm exhausted.

Yesterday, I worked in OWs library from 9 - 6, went straight to the party of my aunts boss, served for 14 pairs, all of them wine lovers (i had to serve prosecco/white wine/red wine.. AND sake after the jap buffet, bottles consumed: 17, plus 2 cans of beer). The cook (my cousins husband) brought me home at 5:30 AM! (hab geheult, nicht weil ich müde war, sondern.. blah. echt erbärmlich)

How much did i earn yesterday?
OW: 9 - 6 = 9 hours
Party: 7 - 5 = 10 hours
-------------------------
Total: 19 hours = 264 Euros (plus tip) = 16.971 Pesos

ok na yun pang Sagada/Banaue/Kalinga diba?

ay. 3 days.

sheet. inaantok ako. wala pang tatlong oras tulog ko, nasa trabaho uli ako. mugto pa mata ko. 2 red bull na nainom ko. ko ko ko. ok lang na instant noodles lang serve nila sa eroplano, masarap yun. Basta, sana naman kasya baon ko. :(

It took me 3 uhm so called dates with him to realize that:

a. he loves chicken. Dinner 1: he had Spinach Stuffed Chicken Breast; Dinner 2: Pastrami Chicken Breast; Dinner 3: Buffalo Chicken (even in a restaurant famous for scampi, lachs and barsch, he ordered chicken.and you know what we watched after dinner? chicken little. fetish? or am i just overreacting again?)
b. We have the same taste in music (he's got good old Ella, The Cure, U2, Incubus... and more on his cd rack.. but i have to say i also found a Craig David CD! tee hee. i made fun of him after that of course, he on the other hand made fun of me after i told him i like the film St. Elmos Fire)
c. I am so not good in dating, so not.
d. So there. exit stage left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I cant log in to GT. i've been waiting for my activation code for 5 days now, until now, nothing.

oh and the best news:

5 days.

wohoooooo

my boss is fine. he just needed a day off. ( me thinks he just didnt want to attend the partner meeting)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I caught my brother browsing Maui Taylors site (haha! palusot nya: naclick nya daw yung like from fhm.com.ph) Then, i realized, GMA does look like her sometimes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11 days.

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

somethings wrong.

my boss didn't answer any of my emails today. (and he didn't call in sick)

i have no idea where he is. i called him on his mobile phone, but he didn't answer.

i'm worried.

Today, i just snuggled back into my warm cozy bed with nothing in my head but my vacation back home.

15 more days before my flight.
9 more days before my last day at work.

35 days vacation. and then what?

id be back here with no money in my bank account, more bills to pay and more bodyweight.

id be back with no job waiting for me, great, what a nice way to start the new year.

I am 23. where did my life go?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

was finally able to upload some pictures of my lonely trips. enjoy enjoy.

ich freue mich für dich, wirklich.
.

Instead of going here i had to work.

kelan ba tutubuan ng puso ang boss ko? its SATURDAY darnnnn it!

buti na lang may GT. (i'm so addicted to this forum yikes)

oh yeah. i have to work tomorrow too.

Azriel wants to work here because of the fountain.




and of course that makes Auntie Hilda so proud.

hay.

15 godchildren.

wow.

and they're all so adorable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i might switch to the rival. ?

' I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the queen of pain'

King of Pain - Alanis Morisette

i wish. for now the only item i'd be able to afford is the pink top. oh ok, add the earrings as well, as for the others.. i rarely wear white anyway, and a pink hat? its just not me.

ok. another useless post :P

i found my scent this summer (actually last 2002 pa, ty to karen for the gift, but they don't have it here so i still have to order it from ny. huhu) oh and i love banana republics accesoires as well.

someone told me that i blog too much about my work.. and it is true, for that i have to apologize =)

but at least i don't blog at work :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm at home on a friday night (ehm, again), i gained weight (ehm, again) and i googled my exs (the artist) name for the last time.Of course i do know that this madness has to stop. its been how many months/years now? and wow, their kid is so cute, he's got his fathers eyes.
And i'm not going to talk about all the sacrifices we had to go thru just to save our relationship, but its all good now... all is well now.

We avoid each other, his mom still calls/texts me every now and then...but thats a different story (what is it with me and the moms of my exes anyway?)

as an artist? he improved a lot and according to tita he's a wonderful dad.

so there, this may sound really cheezy, but knowing that he's happy, makes me deliriously happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there is a wedding tomorrow i have to attend, sad thing is i have nothing to wear, and since its going to be wet and cool, i'm thinking about wearing a suit instead of a dress...

and so they finally updated the firms website. i think ate weng weng's pic is the best (dandaaa! iba talaga pinay :P).


and of course:
the coolest boss has the biggest smile
the boss with the most books looks like the boss with the most books (and is my fave boss, despite the fact he can be so impatient at times - and so hard to please)
the boss who doesnt like me looks like the boss who doesnt like anyone
the boss who wears jeans every friday looks like the boss who would never wear jeans
the boss who always asks how i'm doing looks like a big teddy bear


oh and this is the library, see all those shelves with no books on them? they're all full now, and im lacking space, all in all 6000 books ca., and i still have to 2000 books to catalogue.

AT is the associate who i think has so much to do AND who with me is responsible for the library, After working from 8:30 am to 10 pm this girl still manages to look so fresh everytime she leaves the office. and i still don't know what her secret is.

so there, i still have 2 weeks to finish my deadline, merging two libraries together may sound easy, but its not. (and i won't even tell you guys about 200 publications that are loose-leaf editions... hay!!)

so guys wish me luck.

ah. i wish i could work all day. and all night.

but in this world you can't have everything right?

i mean, first, you try to understand someone, you listen, you help, you encourage, you motivate, you laugh, you bring joy....

and then, you get lied at in return.

nope, one cannot have everything in this world.

last sunday i spent the day with 3 boys and baby girl: azriel, ej, kieran and tattat.

my godchildren:
azriel and kieran




tattat


ej and azriel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to him i am a drama-queen, too emotional to have fun with, too fragile to hang out with

to him i am tedious, the one who'd rather stay at home than go out on a drinking spree, the one who'd rather read a book than go to a party as a 'tag along'

to him i am ungifted and unsuccessful, unlike his ex with her golden voice, unlike his crush with her BMW

He sees me, and the first thing he notices are my imperfections.

but unlike him, i'd rather live with my flaws, than live a life full of repression and denial.

My grandparents (moms aunt and uncle) left back for the states last week, and now my aunt (moms cousin), another lola and my cousin are here from the phil. We visited Salzburg 2 times in 2 weeks, and even the scorching heat won't spoil my admiration for Salzburg.

Red Bull Company:


St. Gilgen:


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman Law exam would be in a weeks time, and i still have 4 books to go. urgh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good thing is, i will be spending my easter holiday in the states next year. perhaps i'll even stay for a month, a week in ny (in ow's apartment weeeh!! in manhattan - yey!). but im still broke.

Me: why does your dragon have a tail?

Him: (after thinking for 5 seconds) hmm.. because he has no pwet.

Him is my 3 year old nephew/godchild.
-----------------------------------------------------------

HM got fired and he's not even sad about it, now he's got more time for his music and his other job. For me, of course, it means, i've got more work to do, but what i'm really unhappy about is that there'd be no more whistling, swinging, red bull drinking, spinning the chair, discussing, hair sniffing, joking around, humming, pencil drumming, sneezing at the same time, chatting, .. at work.

i feel tired and gloomy all of a sudden.

:(

Work keeps me well-balanced lately, reasons why:

at work:

i can actually see positive changes.
i'm not a burden to anyone.
i'm able to fix the chaos that someone else left behind.
my opinion actually matters.
i get to drink free coffee and orange juice/coke light all the time. (thanks to our client)
people smile.
i'm surrounded by books and not bills.

yes, my work does sound like paradise to me lately, but its not really, i still have to withstand MMs scrutiny or ATs big brother attitude, but sadly work has been my solace for the past few days.
of course there is more to life than work, but lately (just lately, i hope) my work gives me more life than well, life itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a tribute to one of my fave bands (this is so my song at the moment)

firewoman - hungry young poets

the moons gone down,

i know you're still awake.

this heart i found,

i didnt intend to break,

coz i've seen the world from down there

and it wasn't a pretty sight.

now the circle is turning,

are you warm for the fight?

i wanna be your firewoman

i'll water down your desire

coz i know this love is a killer

i wanna put your fire.

apologies, its futility.

now destiny, is not a friend

coz i've seen the world from down there

and it wasnt a pretty sight.

now the circle is turning,

are you gonna be alright?

did you come from danger?

you gave me love for pain.

now you're much more than a stranger.

i wanna give you love but all i have is rain.

(Drums rollin')

tadaaa.. ladies and gentlemen, my crush has a blog!!! awoooooooooooooooooo!

dad is doing much better now. Thank God.
~~~~~~~
the 2nd sem started with a bang! (römisches recht in 2 weeks and yes, i am scaaarreed.)

what else happened lately?

~> he finally found a flat of his own. (and hey, i'm quite proud of him, he's doing his own laundry, cooking his own food (and i'm talking about 'real' food here, no payless or lucky me), ironing his own clothes.... and i'm so glad coz he's loving every minute of it.

~> narcissus boy has been reading my mail (yep, my private mail) for some months now, the nerve. like talking behind my back ain't enough or that until now i'm still the one paying for his mistakes... hey, if you're reading this, what ever happened to your conscience? no, i do not hate you, in fact, i'm praying for you... i pray that all your dreams that you shared with me before would come true one day. act like a man, not like a boy.

~> aunti mau came back from the states (dami kong pasalubong he he!)

~> work in the office.. nothing new to talk about, the library ain't finish yet, and we only have 2 months to go.

~> saving for an ibook. still at bliss with my ipod :)

For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
~ Isabel Allende

(see.. im blogging again :) )
14. Where did most of your money go?
bills and more bills..

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
mail (from the Phil)

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
- dragostea din tea (wasn't a good year for euro pop music)
- die perfekte welle

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
happier
thinner or fatter? i refuse to answer this question :)
iii. richer or poorer? definitely poorer (im broke but i'm happy.. i'm poor but i'm wise yeaaaah!!!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
study

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
cry over a jerk

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
with the family

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yes

23. How many one-night stands?
none

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Friends still, CSI, SATC and Pimp my ride

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hate? noh.. dislike? yes

26. What was the best book you read?
the autobiography of marie antoinette by antonia fraser, paula by isabel allende, wild swans

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Birdland, Morse!

28. What did you want and get?
a smile from Azriel

29. What did you want and not get?
my money..

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Before Sunset

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
celebrated together with my nephew, friends and family ate like theres no tomorrow.. 22

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if that someone paid ALL his debts to moi

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
i was a fashion victim :)

34. What kept you sane?
Azriel, Arjay (though at times he drove me to the brink of insanity) and Redbull

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
still Pitt :)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the Grasser and Gehrer issue

37. Who did you miss?
Mhiles, my sanity, conversations with Vin

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Arjay

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
from my nephew Azriel: Auntie Hilda, drink water, then you'll be ok nah.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Vienna lyrics - by Billy Joel

2004 - i have to admit, i haven't blog properly... (still convincing myself that i was way too busy to blog... in a way, twas true.. still, what a lame excuse :) )

so.. i'll somehow try to make up for those feeble posts.. PRAMIS! :P

here goes: (got this from q's from Chel... ty)

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Dined here (the firms Christmas Party), danced the Ocho Ocho with Azriel, called the police to report a theft, went to my very first lecture here,..... so many firsts....

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No and no

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes

5. What countries did you visit?
England. Czech Republic. Italy. Hungary. Switzerland

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
concentration, sleep, time oh and a looong vacation.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 12 - someone made me very happy this day
October 16 - Riels vavavavoom Bday Party
Dec. 26 - the horrible news

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
(my mind is blank - sad noh?)
perhaps, withstanding one of the partners at work

9. What was your biggest failure?
not being able to realize fast that someone is using me

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes and yes

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Every item i got from Pandorf and my ipod.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Moms, Mhailas, Arjays and Azriels

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
sheesh.

more tomorrow!!! pRAMIS